finally got blog back up and running

A girl is way too happy she has her blog back and running again.. smiles.. been hard days for her but with help of some wonderful Ffriends she's finding her way back.. She hopes she will be able to keep up with this as it does make her feel really good when she can takes everything out of her chest... some times just gets too much for her to handle it so this will be her way out...

Today she got to spent a great day in a great room full of friends and real ppl.. not players for once who actually are able to talk maturely.. even if this girl is young she can tell difference between drama queens/Kings and real/mature ppl... Lots of stuff going on in what she once thought was her home.. too many ppl fighting and even if not all ppl involved in drama/fight are her friends.. she feels sorry for all of them as thats not how it's supposed to be.. a girl is too sensitive and nowadays even more sensitive.. she doesnt like to go in a room and end up shaking cause she sees ppl fighting and being mean to each.. she knows this world is not perfect nor its dreamland.. oh she learnt the hard way tho... but sh elikes to see ppl respecting each other.. being polite... showing the values within this.. and she has seen none today in that public room and it really hurts her... lots of supposedly friends have hurt her.. she has to be strong and keep going as most of them are not worth my falling.. but she's hurt inside.. maybe more than others can see... she devoted herself completely to Someone who didnt even exist... even lived for Him as was having a very hard time in her day to day life.. He helped her but played with her as well... showing his true nature... True nature... ppl becoming real and not faking.. thats what she saw today in that public room.. and even if she enjoyed seeing it for a while as she was able to realise who was sugarcoating her feelings and who was just "playing, acting" it hurt her... as she found out not Eeveryone is good there as she likes to believe so often.. maybe thats what she needs to change.. she thinks too high of too many ppl and when she finds out they're nth the disappointment is too big to be put in words... so she run to what she knows consider her house.. where she's safe.. where there are no players and she can speak her mind when she wants to...

This is what came to mind while in that oublic room "This is the true story of seven strangers picked to live in a house and have their lives taped Find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real" tis from an MTV show called the real world and is soooooo accurate

Changin topic now... she has been released for 3 weeks now... geesh time does fly... she's still trying to move on completely.. she has Someone helping her.. she still has some downs but they arent as often as they once were.. today something happened.. she cant tell what it was but all of a sudden she was down.. all memories.. back. all lies back.. so she ran to her sis... who's always there for her... tis hard some times to explain how a girl feels... she's not sure if she actually can feel for a lie.. cuz thats what it was a big fat lie... but at the same time she knows there were feelings involved... and also more than one person involved... and thats what hurts her the most... how can One keep a lie going when its obviously that in the end the other person is gonna end up hurt... there are some things she cant understand.. but she will try to get everything to come out as she believes is only way to finish healing and move on....