**DRAFT**

I have been doing a lot of thinking as of late. To my disadvantage I must say they were all happy thoughts for I havent been all that happy since saturday night yet I found a lot of things in these thoughts that might help me so I will pour all that here..

I could never, and probably never will, love someone like i loved you, H. It was really bad timing, You were married, once divorced and had two kids, a pre-teen and a babygirl of a year and a half. Lil H must be really grown up by now, she was too cute and you loved that little girl. You used to call us 'my two babies', we were way different and we know that but i enjoyed being with you more than anything. Words cant attempt to explain my feelings towards you, i was happy and im pretty sure you were too.

You taught me devotion as no one could or ever will, I loved making you happy and i loved you, loved serving You, loved who i was with You. You showed how it was to feel happy beyond reason again when, even if I had just turned 18, I was ready to let go and give up. I was living the worst year of my life and You, You baby pulled me out of the whole and showed me how beautiful being alive could be. I would have died for You and You know it.

Days flew