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hmmm alright.. its been a very long saturday and i really mean the long part.. ive been rather fine most of the time til my head started working lol some things just dont quite make sense and even if i fight daily with them and think that they will make sense soon enough theres something within me that tells me not to put up with that lol two people within me isnt fun. I think of it as a test of my patience and trust on another person.. thats the only way im able to deal with it for now.. I really hope im wrong lol you have no idea how badly i wish that
I decided to read a log from not so long ago and it was actually the lack of answers that had me wondering.. i hate not getting straight answers i really hate that.. its like living in the unknown doesnt work all that well for me.. call me old or whatever but seriously not knowing at all whats coming.. kinda freaks me out and even if im being able to control it i dont know for how long ill be able to..
Another thing ive been thinking is.. if i have the worst luck or something happens and i dont pass on monday.. im not asking for a good grade jsut pass this time because this subject scares the hell out of me.. im gonna reconsider a few things.. ive decided that and lol feel ebtter for it.. christmas is around the corner and new year is not that far away.. after that.. 2 weeks and ill be gone for 10 days or so and im starting to believe im gonan regret that but its already done and cant undo it..
Well i should finish some reading and then need to start getting ready to receive our guests for my moms bday party.. i couldnt be in a worse mood... im terrified of monday.. im not lonely but i could use some babygirl kinda treatment *chuckles i hate that word*.. i could use a big hug and shit like that and im tired oh and did i mention terrified outta my skull because i cant fail thsi exam because itll bring me down lower than ever.. and this ladies who run the department are crazy and you never know what they are gonna come up with and thats the part that scares me shitless... ladylike vocabulary im using huh? as if i cared right now.. well kinda do but its not among my top priorities..
Anyways im so fucking tired of everything right now.. ill be back when i have something better to write about.. bbl
I decided to read a log from not so long ago and it was actually the lack of answers that had me wondering.. i hate not getting straight answers i really hate that.. its like living in the unknown doesnt work all that well for me.. call me old or whatever but seriously not knowing at all whats coming.. kinda freaks me out and even if im being able to control it i dont know for how long ill be able to..
Another thing ive been thinking is.. if i have the worst luck or something happens and i dont pass on monday.. im not asking for a good grade jsut pass this time because this subject scares the hell out of me.. im gonna reconsider a few things.. ive decided that and lol feel ebtter for it.. christmas is around the corner and new year is not that far away.. after that.. 2 weeks and ill be gone for 10 days or so and im starting to believe im gonan regret that but its already done and cant undo it..
Well i should finish some reading and then need to start getting ready to receive our guests for my moms bday party.. i couldnt be in a worse mood... im terrified of monday.. im not lonely but i could use some babygirl kinda treatment *chuckles i hate that word*.. i could use a big hug and shit like that and im tired oh and did i mention terrified outta my skull because i cant fail thsi exam because itll bring me down lower than ever.. and this ladies who run the department are crazy and you never know what they are gonna come up with and thats the part that scares me shitless... ladylike vocabulary im using huh? as if i cared right now.. well kinda do but its not among my top priorities..
Anyways im so fucking tired of everything right now.. ill be back when i have something better to write about.. bbl
posted by ~*~angelfire~*~ at 1:55 AM
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