Love is not enough

Well to be honest I thought I was never gonna write in this blog again.. **EDIT: and this was the last post there and the beginning of this new one which has every single entry i've written since i signed up in blogger, this is my story, or a bit of it** but it has way too many memories and i cant find a better place to say how much i miss you right now than here you know..
To be honest this is the first time in a long while that im glad im sad.. i thought my heart had gone as hard as a rock when i didnt shed a tear as you left.. i thought fuck so this is why love and lies does to you huh? Of course i worried about it all and then i started feeling happy, happy in a way i hadnt felt since you and i started together..

Fuck im really sad today, well actually ive been like this since i saw someone yesterday's night in my safe haven..

Actually Im not sure if i miss You or i need You or im mad at you.. or this is not related to You in any way and that kinda pisses me off Ya know because i did love you dammit and when i entered that relationship i did it on 2 conditions that i never told you and that was living one day at a time and never think of the future.. with time i saw how badly i loved being with you and i started considering the possibility of a future with both of you.. that was a mistake
as many things i did both with you and in the last 3 years or so.. I know i cant live in the past, I know theres no point in trying to change those things because that just wont do and i know i should probably just move on and i will.. i need a good cry first though.. I wish Youd told me You hated me or that I was an azz a bitch or whatever.. but dont ever tell me again you fucking love me when you dont mean it.. another proof that love isnt enough at times