dreams - 'the wedding date'

If you had the chance to actually watch that movie then i think you'll understand this whole post better and if you didnt then well you'll catch up...

This is one of those movies where the girl finds her prince charming who comes to rescue her but that's not really what i'm gonna talk about now. Ill try to focus in one thing he, an escourt prince charming, said, his words were something like every woman has the love life she thinks she deserves.. or something like that. The lead actress, Debra Messing, was the one with the pathetic love life, his (now) ex fiance was gonna be the half sister's godfather in her wedding. She decides to hire an escourt mostly because she wanted to appear happy. In more than one way she is like me, how many times have i said 'this is not fair' 'this wasn't supposed to happen' ? If you've been around me long enough you're probably saying by now 'lots of times' and you would be right, I did, many times. Certainly more than I would have liked to. Now what has me wondering now is the following, one friend once told me that i kept choosing the wrong guys since i didnt believe i deserved anything better, at the time i made some smartass comment because i didnt wanna fight with him but that's always been in my head and watching this movie was watching me. Of course I'm not Debra Mesing nor would I hire an escourt but that's not really the issue here. I do want my prince charming and yes i want him like in the movie but we all know its high unlikely to happen within this lifestyle, online at least.

When we look for our prince charming within a vanilla realm we think its crazy that we'll never find him, 'til we realise we just did, that guy who could be your soulmate, you two are so alike that could have been twins but he's not part of the lifestyle.. and wow what to do there? Well.. I keep him as my best friend and at the end of the day I always have him when i need him and we work way better this way because I know I wont lose him. Then you meet another guy who you thought was your soulmate, he had everything you could have asked for, promised to give you the world and did it only to find out he was already taken and playing an online game... You keep wandering and wondering if you're meant to die alone.. You're still twenty yes but time is passing by and noone can stop him.. so you just try to give it a try to something that felt right in the beginning but after a while you realise it wasnt what you wanted.. you meet and that proves it.. yes you care for each other but you dont love each other. There goes another try. You feel lost, even more if possible and you start wandering again and then *poof* you come across someone who is just like the guy you first loved.. like that friend of yours.. like that first love.. You panic at the thought of that person being your now long lost love, you certainly dont wanna be in that place again.. ever.. but you cant help it, curiousity gets the best of you nad you have to talk to that guy just a little more.. if its him then you'll deal with it later and if its not... nothing could actually be better.. simply means there are more than two people who will be like your twins... and He isn't.. phew you think.. and you feel all fuzzy inside at the thought of getting along with someone so well again.. it certainly has been a while but that doesnt mean youd change what you lived so far, most of it made you grew up, made me grow up and just a bit stronger each time

I don't wanna be the girl in the movie, I dont wanna forget either but it wouldnt be bad to be happy for a while again, dont you think?