Sugarcoating

Maybe it's a matter of concept.. Maybe it isn't. To me friendship is a very delicate thing and issue if you may. I don't take it lightly and even if it's easy to build it with some people it can last forever but once it's gone it's really hard to get it back. Of course I learned this the hard way, had to pick a side some 3 years ago, it was either one of my best friends whom I've known for almost 18 years out of my almost 21-year-life or a dear friend of mine at the time whom I would have liked to keep as a friend for we got along in many ways, some might call it in 'girly' ways, we loved fashion, makeup, clothes and all the silly stuff but most importantly we supported each other, we could talk for hours and we never kept anything to ourselves, be it something regarding our own self or someone other than us. Anyway at the time I made a poor choice, now don't get me wrong I don't regret keeping my best friend for now she appreciated it but my judgement of the situation was very poor and the way i handled it even worse. I regret my friend leaving and I regret my last words to her 'the doors are open'. Well at least my last words making any sense. I didn't mean to say it like she took it, it was never my intention to hurt her, or maybe it was but to teach her some kind of lesson or to show her how displeased i was by her behavior towards me and my other two friends (we were on a ski week away from home). So I do regret handling it so badly, we never spoke again and every day or almost every day I wonder what would have been of us, of our friendship if I had handled it differently.